I've thought many times that I shouldn't have tried to save that girl's life — and I still think that now.
There's almost nothing I've genuinely enjoyed (or felt happy about) from the heart.
There have been plenty of times I wasn't truly having fun.
These feelings (the recent ones, though not that recent) will probably fade — and I suppose that's a good thing for anyone. But timestamping moments matters for obvious reasons, so I'm leaving a record like this.
Honestly, up until now and even now, that's my assessment.
Still, I want her to be alive, for whatever it's worth. Though she herself apparently holds no expectations or hope for anything. She's become someone I have no relation to and no reason to care about. I wish I didn't have to say this — but that's just what it is.